Start where your body is,
not where you think
it should be.
Yoni massage, yoni dearmoring and tantra massage for women are three different things asking three different amounts of you. Here is how to tell which one you are actually looking for, including the times the honest answer is none of them yet.
If you want to be touched without anything being asked of you
Tantra massage for women is the gentlest of the three, and the one I suggest most often to a woman who has never done work like this before. Two hours, full body, warm oil, and no yoni work at all unless you ask for it. You keep on whatever you want to keep on.
What it asks of you is almost nothing, which turns out to be the difficult part. You lie down and let someone pay close attention to you for two hours without earning any of it. Women who are accustomed to being useful often find that harder than they expected, and noticing that is already the beginning of the work.
It may not be the right session yet if you arrive hoping for proof that something has been fixed. This one does not aim at an outcome. Spend two hours checking whether it is working and you will have spent two hours checking.
Tantra massage for womenTwo to three hours. We begin the same way, with breath and full body contact, and stay outside her for as long as that takes. Internal work happens only when you ask for it and only as far as you want it to go, and I say what I am about to do before I do it, every single time.
This suits a woman who has noticed numbness where there did not use to be any, or who has never had her yoni touched with attention rather than expectation, or who wants to know her own interior landscape rather than guess at it. Yoni mapping belongs here: finding out, slowly and without agenda, what is actually present and what it has been holding.
It may not be the right session yet if you are in the acute part of something. Fresh grief, a crisis still unfolding, something that surfaced last month and has not settled. There is no hurry. The work will still be here when the ground is steadier.
What happens in a yoni massageIf she has gone quiet and you want her back
If you already know exactly where the holding is
Yoni dearmoring is the deepest and most demanding of the three. Sustained pressure meets a place that has been guarding itself for years and stays with it, breath after breath, until she lets go of what she has been carrying. What surfaces is rarely tidy. Heat, shaking, tears, or an anger that arrives with no story attached to it.
This suits a woman who has done some version of this work before and can feel precisely where the wall is. You will usually know. Women who are ready for dearmoring tend to describe a specific place rather than a general feeling.
I will not take anyone here on a first meeting, and that is not a formality. I need to know your history and how your system responds before I put weight on anything. If you write to me asking for dearmoring and I suggest we begin somewhere else, that is not a sales tactic. That is the answer.
How yoni dearmoring worksWhere she is honored, not serviced.
Still not sure
Then say so. Describe what brought you here in whatever words you have, imprecise ones included, and I will tell you what I would suggest and why. If none of the three is right for you yet, I will say that as well.